Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
