I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
