Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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