Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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