Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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