so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
