I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
