So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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