good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
