i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
