Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
