I haven't been this sober since birth.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
