i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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