Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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