he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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