The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize