I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
