tell your sister to shave her snatch
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
