Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
