I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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