either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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