He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
