K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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