Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
