I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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