Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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