is your mom at the bar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
