I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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