Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
