New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
