Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
