Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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