Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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