I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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