I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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