Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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