fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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