I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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