My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Life is so much better after having sex.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
