I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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