This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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