what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
