Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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