Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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