Christians are straight up FREAKS
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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