i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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