My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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