Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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