I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
