when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
