you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
