I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
