just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
