Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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