it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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