What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My vagina is very pro this idea