yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.