your parents love me but you hate me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.