margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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