Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.

Fav 7 944 3739
share tweet
(530): View more from California

just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

Fav 28 8131 1038
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

Fav 54 11222 2119
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.

Fav 9 992 3673
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

Fav 13 9740 1441
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic

Fav 4 2847 924
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks

Fav 6 924 2175
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker

Fav 3 553 1004
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!

(262): View more from Wisconsin

update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.

Fav 1 38 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT