She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.