Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.