This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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