Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize